


Farcy Ficlets

by InkStainedHands1177



Series: Prompts for All Occassions [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universes, Awesome Darcy Lewis, BAMF Darcy Lewis, BAMF Nick Fury, Darcy Lewis is Tony Stark's Daughter, Darcy Lewis is the fandom bicycle and I love it, Darcy Lewis's Taser, Darcy Lewis-centric, F/M, Farcy: I Will Go Down With This Ship, Gen, Minor Jane Foster/Thor, Nick Fury is Not Amused, Overly Amused Clint, Phil Coulson & Nick Fury Friendship, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Protective Nick Fury, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 9,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24779197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkStainedHands1177/pseuds/InkStainedHands1177
Summary: Just some short stories about Farcy Love. There needs to be more out there. ; D
Relationships: Nick Fury/Darcy Lewis
Series: Prompts for All Occassions [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588924
Comments: 89
Kudos: 221





	1. Conditioner (post Winter Soldier; pre-Darcy/Nick)

Darcy stared at the empty rack in her bathroom shower. With a sigh, she grabbed her robe and threw it on as she walked up the stairs to Clint’s apartment. He always had some extra toiletries just in case Natasha needed to crash at his SHIELD issued apartment one floor above hers.

Not bothering to knock, Darcy walked straight to the bathroom. Humming to herself, she bent down at the waist and searched under the sink. With a happy grin, she grabbed the conditioner bottle and turned around.

“Ah!” Jumping back, Darcy stared at the man in the bathrobe. If she hadn’t been so distracted by his sudden appearance, then she would have noticed that he had been enjoying the view of her ass. “Who are you?! What are you doing here?!”

Giving her a suspicious stare, he looked her up and down, pausing only a second on her chest before looking firmly at her face. Darcy had to give him that. He had some self-control.

“Funny, I was gonna ask you the same thing. Who are you? What are you doing in Clint Barton’s apartment?”

“I’m Darcy. Just wanted a bottle of conditioner.”

“How’d you get in here?”

Darcy swallowed and then, thanks to Nat’s training, she noticed that he had a gun in the pocket of his bathrobe.  _ SHIT! ALERT! ALERT! HOT STRANGER MAN IS ARMED! _

“Urgh?” She coughed. “I…Clint gave me a key. Um…what are you doing wearing a bathrobe?”

He lifted a brow over a slightly amused eye. “I was about to take a shower. But now, I’m guessing I’ll have to call Clint and have him ID you. Come on, Miss.”

“So, a random stranger just so happens to go into my friend’s apartment because he needs a shower? Yeah right.” Flashbacks of when she got kidnapped zipped through her mind. So, channeling her inner Natasha, Darcy took stock of her surroundings and then did the only thing she could think of. She flipped the cap on her bottle and shot the conditioner into his eye and mouth.

Pushing passed him, Darcy let out a scream as she tore out of the apartment. Taking the stairs, she rushed into her room and slammed the door shut. Locking all her locks, she snatched up her phone and called Clint.

“Pick up. Please, pick up.” Her apartment door banged. Darcy gave a small scream. Just a small one.

_ “Darcy?” _

“Ah! Clint! I’m under attack! There was a guy in your apartment! He’s beating down my door!”

_ “Okay, Darcy, calm down! I’m on my way. Stay calm. Get your taser. Barricade yourself in a room, and keep your phone on you. Cap and Nat are with me. We’re coming now.” _

Darcy swallowed a whimper as she heard the man curse on the other side of the door. She quickly did as Clint told her and locked herself into her bathroom.

After about ten minutes, the banging stopped. She craned her neck to try and hear anything. She thought she heard laughter.

“Darcy! It’s me, Clint. Open up! Everything’s fine.”

Darcy opened the door and threw herself into his arms before realizing who was standing behind him. “AH!” Jumping back, she pointed her bottle at the black man. “Get away!”

Not bothering to hide his smirk, Clint grinned at them both. “I think introductions are needed. Darcy, this is the recently deceased Nick Fury. Nick, this is the Science Handler, Darcy Lewis. She’s the one who got Stark to get his papers and blueprints to SHIELD on time. She’s also the one who single handedly stopped seven Code Greens because of clumsy interns and idiot gunmen. She’s the Hulk’s second favorite.” Clint winked at Darcy.

Waving her hand, Darcy smirked. “Aw shucks!” She turned from Clint and looked the man over critically. “So you’re the famous Nick Fury?” She shrugged. “Well, actually the word  _ in _ famous would be more accurate. Or maybe fossil.”

He gave her a dark look. “To any  _ child _ , most people would seem old.”

Narrowing her eyes at him, she lifted her bottle of conditioner. “I  _ will _ squirt you again, Dread Pirate Roberts.” Fury gritted his teeth.

“Lucky thing you stayed as a lab assist. You would have started another world war.”

“At least I’m not an iPod stealing, lying, Spymaster!”

“Argh! Enough with the iPod! You plagued Coulson with hundreds of emails about that fucking piece of technology!”

“Sammy isn’t a piece of technology! He’s my baby that you kidnapped! Now he’s been crushed by Hydra! And that’s  _ another _ thing! How could you  _ not _ have noticed that your  _ entire  _ spy club was riddled with pseudo Nazis?! I mean, I know you have only one eye, but surely you’re not  _ that _ blind?!”

“Listen you-” They continued arguing with each other, getting closer and closer until Darcy was poking him in the chest. Clint’s eyebrows shot upward. He had never seen anyone get away with touching Fury without his express permission.

Steve Rogers leaned over to Natasha and whispered, “Ten bucks says he’ll take her on a date in a week.”

“Ten says she’ll ask  _ him _ in five days.”

“Deal.”

Both lost.

Fury never got around to asking Darcy out, because when he was about to they were attacked by Hydra, forcing Nick to take Darcy with him to France to hunt down the bases.

They were married by the end of the trip.


	2. Television (post-Avengers, Darcy/Nick)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy can't let go of her loved ones, and neither can Nick.  
> It was never an option.

Darcy stared at the TV with glazed eyes. She watched the flying worms rip through the buildings like termites through cloth. She saw Iron Man, Clint, and Nat and the others fighting them back.

She saw a SHIELD jet fire a missile at New fucking York City! She watched Tony free fall through the portal.  _ Shit ton of trauma right there, boy. He’s gonna have PTSD and won’t get any help for it, moron. _ She watched through the eyes of the cameramen and women as the battle died down.

Then…she turned the television on mute and stared at her phone. Jane was trying to get through to SHIELD the hard way. Darcy knew she could only wait. Even if she contacted Hill, or Phil, or even Sitwell, she wouldn’t get answers any faster, especially if they were bad ones.

Her phone buzzed. Snatching it up, Darcy answered. “Honey?” Her voice was quiet, even though Jane couldn’t have heard her over her own screaming and ranting. Standing up, Darcy slipped out to the balcony and closed it behind her. “Talk to me, Nick, please.”

_ “Everything done, Darce. We’ve won.” _ He sounded so tired.

“Yes... I saw on TV. Nick…that missile…”

_ “That fucking nuke was sent by the damned council!” _ He still sounded enraged.  _ “I refused to drop the package, and they overrode me!” _

“You really need to look into changing your training program. That pilot was just as independent as one of Tony’s robots.”

Nick only gave a groan. Darcy could half imagine him rubbing his forehead.  _ “I lost Phil… Darcy…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. He-he died bravely.” _

Her breath caught. “No…” She had to sit down.

_ “He’s dead, Darcy. Died in front of me. Loki got him.” _

Darcy straightened as an idea came to her. “No. He’s not.”  _ My husband needs him. In a world with so few men and women who can be trusted, Nick needs Phil! I need Phil! _ “Re-open T.A.H.I.T.I. Nick.”

_ “T.A.H.I.T.I.? But Darcy that’s…the risks outweigh the pros.” _ Darcy could hear the hope in his voice. Her own was edged with steel.

“The needs outweigh the cons, Nick. If you want him back, then re-open the program. Don’t wipe everything from him. Just the operation. He’ll be fine. By the time he remembers, the specialists will have solved the problem. Of course, if you let me talk to Thor, then we could solve the problem faster.”

_ “We’ve had this discussion before. The answer is still no. Thor is under the idea that humans have to learn the knowledge of this world without outside help. If you ask me, he’s taking the Prime Directive a little too far.” _

Darcy barked a laugh. She loved it when Nick referenced TV shows. She shook her head and listened the rustle of papers. “I’ll hang up if you have stuff to do.”

_ “Hell no. You’re the highlight of my day, Darcy.”  _ Darcy leaned against the wall and smiled at the sky.

“When will we be coming home?”

He chuckled.  _ “As soon as I can arrange a jet to get you.” _

“Good. Oh, and I want to tell Jane about us. I’m tired of secrets, especially when they’re so unnecessary.”

_ “If you get to tell Jane, then I get to tell Alex.” _

Darcy wrinkled her nose at the mention of Peirce. The man gave her the creeps. “Fine. A friend for a friend. Oops! Jane’s finally given up on contacting SHIELD. Quickly, before she notices me, how is Thor?”

_ “Missing her, but physically healthy. He was sad about his brother being a nutcase.” _

Darcy snorted and nodded. “Alright.” She glanced at Jane, who was making herself some coffee. “I love you.”

_ “I love you too, Darcy. I’ll see you tonight.” _

“Yes, we can celebrate the victory tonight.” Her voice became husky. He swallowed.

_ “Shit, I miss you.” _

Smiling even while she sniffled, Darcy nodded to herself. “I miss you too. Now go on and clean up the extraterrestrial mess. I’ll see you tonight.”

_ “Okay. Bye.” _

Darcy knew he had to force himself to hang up. She knew because she had to force herself not to speak again. Clenching her hand around her phone, she finally allowed herself to cry. Phil…her big brother…the one who first introduced Nick to her. “Oh Phil!” Biting her lip, Darcy cleared her face of grief and pain and plastered on a smile for Jane as she re-entered the apartment.


	3. Lamp (post-Winter Soldier, pre-Darcy/Fury)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick Fury finds an unlikely and still spunky ally to bust Hydra heads with.

The first thing that Darcy saw when she woke up was an operation lamp. The bulb blinded her, making everything else around it mere shadows.

The second thing that Darcy saw was men and women in white coats.

The third thing that Darcy saw was needles coming closer to her veins.

Pain lanced through her from that point onward making it impossible to do anything else but scream.

~three days later~

Darcy didn’t know what they wanted. They hadn’t asked any questions. They hadn’t said anything to her. They hadn’t even called her a number or a name.

She looked around the room and then at her hands. She couldn’t feel anything but the echoes of pain. Pushing herself to a standing position, Darcy realized that she could hear the breathing of the guards outside. She could hear the footsteps of guards upstairs and feel the air currents change around her. She could hear the scientists talking in Russian, Greek, German, French, and a myriad of other languages.

Closing her eyes, she noticed a dramatic increase in her senses.  _ So that’s what they’re doing to me? They’re experimenting on me and mutating me! Hell! I’ve got to get out of here! _

She opened her eyes, but before she could take another step towards the door, she heard gunfire at what she could only guess was the front entrance.

Picking up a rock, she threw it at the door with all her strength. It dented it badly. Raising an eyebrow at that, Darcy grinned and kicked the lock. It broke. The guards gave a shout and rushed back to their previously abandoned posts.

She didn’t have time to dodge the bullets, but that was fine. The pain was fleeting, and the wounds healed up before a drop of blood could even form.

The guards screamed and turned to run, but Darcy wasn’t done. She had suffered extreme pain because of these guys. She would be damned if she let them get off that easy.

~meanwhile~

Nick Fury motioned to the five former SHIELD agents who were with him. They had proven faithful to SHIELD and had followed him from Washington to Europe.

“Woah…hey boss, check this out. Someone just escaped. The bodies of these guards are still warm.”

Rosie Patton turned to the door and read the file attached to it. “Patient 48. Increase senses, strength, and regeneration? Aw hell, a super freak. Just our luck.”

They moved down the hall only to come across more dead bodies. Kneeling down, Jack Richards inspected the corpse. “Fresh kill. Snapped his neck. Pretty painless way to die too.” He shrugged. “Considering what the person  _ might _ have done.”

Erik Smith turned back to the gun in the dead guard’s hand. “Muzzle’s hot. He attacked the patient. Maybe self defense…?”

Shaking his head, Nick continued walking forward. “Probably not. They probably have orders to shoot on sight.” They walked down the corridor, not needing to fight.

Grinning, Tina Powers flexed her neck. “My thanks to whoever this person is. They’re making our day easier.”

They finally caught up to the patient. Nick’s eyebrows shot upward. “A woman?”

The girl turned quickly. Her white hospital gown was spattered in blood. Blood was dripping from her hands. She stared at them and then narrowed her eyes. “You’re the ones who’ve been following me?”

“Um…yes. How did you know?”

“Air currents changed, and I heard you talking. I could also smell you.” She straightened slowly. Looking them over, Darcy tilted her head at Fury. “Wait…I know you, don’t I?”

Clearing his throat, Fury shook his head. “I highly doubt it. Do you know your name?”

“Darcy Lewis. I use to intern for Dr. Jane Foster and go to Culver University. Then I used to work for SHIELD until it committed suicide a month back. Then…” She frowned. “A week? Was it only a week?” Sighing, she slumped tiredly against the wall. “I’ll just go with a week. I’ve been here for seven days and now, thanks to you, I had a chance to break free and use your distraction. I really don’t want to kill you. I don’t like killing. Violence…is wrong.” She stared at her hands. “I’ve killed way too many people today. Please, don’t attack me.” Her blue eyes were wide. She was shaking.

Motioning for them to stand down, Fury stepped forward. “I know your name. I was Nicholas J. Fury, former Director of SHIELD.”

“No way! I heard you got blown up! Clint said that the Winter Soldier got you!” Her jaw was slack.

Chuckling, Nick shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “Don’t believe everything you hear.”

“You taking down HYDRA?”

“Yeah.” He eyed her. “Wanna help?”

“Killing people? I…” She stared at her hands. “Well…I guess it doesn’t really count because they’re HYDRA. Mindless killing machines who experiment on innocent people.” She stared at Fury. “Count me in.”

Fury grinned and nodded to her. “Welcome to my taskforce. This is Rosie, Jack, Erik, Tina, and the silent one is Sam.”

Darcy grinned and then tensed. She closed her eyes. “Twenty men, armed. They’re coming this way through that hallway.”

Smirking, Erik primed the grenades and charges. “She’s gonna be a big help.”

After they destroyed the base, Darcy looked Nick up and down and licked her lips. “You know, for an old dead guy…you’re pretty cut.” She winked. 

Darcy refused to give up anything more to those- now dead- scientists. They had taken away her humanity, but they wouldn’t take away her personality. She refused. She would get through this shit, and she would start now…with Nicholas Fury.

Chuckling, Fury looked at her. “Get cleaned and dressed and maybe I can return the compliment.” His team stared in silent shock at the scene in front of them.

Darcy smiled slowly. “Okay…It’s a date.”

“Date? Who said anything about dates?”

“Oh, didn’t you know? I can read minds too.” She winked.

He raised his eyebrow. “Oh really? Then what am I thinking right now?”

She smirked and moved closer to him and slipped her arms around his neck. “That there’s a nice warm stream not far from here, and we can wash off the blood and grime and…then get down to business.” He grinned at her and rested his hands on her hips.

“Sounds fine to me.”


	4. Fork (pre-Darcy/Nick)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I think I'm in love."

Darcy gritted her teeth and stared at the obnoxious drunk guy trying to flirt with her. “I’m completely fine with being alone, mister. You can go now. Actually, I insist that you go now.”

“Awwww, come’n honey! I can make you feel sooo good tonight!” He leered at her. Darcy contemplated splashing her drink in his face to get her point across.

Instead, help came in an unexpected way. “She said she wasn’t interested. Get going.” Darcy stared at the African American man who picked the drunk guy up and tossed him to the side like a rag doll.

Huffing, she leveled him with a stare. “Thanks for the rescue, but I was doing pretty well on my own.”

“I know. I got rid of him, because he was blocking my view.”

She glanced down at her rack and then up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Which view? My face or my boobs? Answer wisely.”

Chuckling, the man gave her a small smile. “The entire package is nice to look at.”

“Come on man! I was with the lady first! Get a move on!”

Darcy stuck her tongue in her cheek as she watched Eye Patch push the drunk guy away from him without even looking away from her. She felt flattered.

“Since you’ve gone to such trouble saving the vista, might as well give you a ringside seat.” She gestured to the booth seat beside her. He grinned and sat down next to her. His arm slipped behind her along the back of the booth seat.

“Thanks.”

Darcy looked him up and down and almost licked her lips. She had a feeling this would be the best fuck she’d have this century.

~thirty minutes later~

Darcy hadn’t realized how intelligent this mystery man- he claimed his name was Phil but she didn’t believe him- actually was. He was a brilliant conversationalist with an incredibly dry sense of humor. She had enjoyed her time with him immensely. With a smile, Darcy finished her signature for her tab. He had already paid for his drinks.

“I’ve enjoyed tonight…I don’t want to say goodnight to you just yet.” She smiled at him invitingly.

Phil grinned back. “Then don’t. My hotel is just a few blocks away…” He lifted an eyebrow.

“Alright.”

He smirked and pulled her up from the booth. They weaved through the tables and towards the entrance. Darcy’s eyes widened as she saw something from her periphery vision. She pushed Phil to the side just as the same drunk charged past them. The bouncers weren’t there at the moment, having already gone to dispose of someone else.

Darcy glared at the guy and grabbed the closest thing she could find, a fork from the service station.

“Oh my! What are you gonna do with that, bitch? Tickle me?”

Darcy grinned and shrugged. “Not really. What’re you trying to pull, dude? Just go home already.” She could feel Phil move closer to her, but he wasn’t fast enough. The drunk tried to shove her aside to get a punch in at Phil. Darcy gritted her teeth and stabbed him in the side with the fork. She stabbed him twice with the fork and then hooked her ankle around his to put him off balance.

He fell to the ground screaming. Rolling her eyes, Darcy grabbed Phil’s hand and tugged him out of the bar. “Shit, that guy’s such a pansy. It was only an inch deep!” She grinned at her companion and then hailed a taxi.

He was still staring at her in shock. “Phil? You okay? You aren’t put off by violence are you? If you are, then I’m sorry! I just didn’t want him to hit you!”

Blinking rapidly, he raised his hands and shook his head. “No. Not that. I just…” He trailed off, and Darcy frowned at him in confusion. When he didn’t continue, she shrugged and turned back to the window. “…think I’m in love.”

“Huh? What did you say?” Darcy turned back to him. His eye widened.

“Nothing!” He leaned forward and told the taxi driver where to go.


	5. Chalk (FMAB AU: pre-Nick/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy will do just about anything to not be put on the list. Nick will do just about anything to protect his world.   
> Eh, it evens out pretty well in the end. ; D

Darcy sighed and looked around her. She was strapped to a chair and locked in an interrogation room. She cursed herself for saving that agent who worked for the biggest spy agency of them all. Growling, she kicked her foot out and wished she had her chalk still. That had been the first thing they had taken away from her when they had apprehended her.

The door opened. Glancing up, she huffed out a breath, smirking. “They brought me a pirate? Aww! They should’ve wrapped you in ribbons!” She looked him up and down and grinned. “ _ Only _ in ribbons.”

Smirking at her, he sat down across from her and opened a folder. “Miss Darcy Anne Lewis. Culver University Graduate, Political Science Major. Eyes: Blue. Hair: Brown. Race: Caucasian. Height: 5’4”.” He continued to rattle off the facts and figures- they literally had her measurements in there, FREAKY- until Darcy groaned.

“Get  _ on _ with it!”

He flicked his gaze over the top of the folder at her and then went back to reading. She huffed and shifted in her seat. When he was finally done, he set it down and folded his hands on the table between them.

“Never in your file does it mention you having an ability to transform matter into something else. Sounds a lot like alchemy to me. Care to share with the class?”

Rolling her eyes, Darcy glared at him. “Okay, this is the last time I’m saving a person’s life! I’ll let your agents die next time!”

“I appreciate you saving Agent Hill’s life, but I still want to know how you were able to create a cement slide for her to go down when she fell off that building.”

Letting out a pained groan, Darcy squirmed in her seat. “FINE! It’s Alchemy. Alchemy’s real. Can I go now?”

“Not yet. Can you teach Alchemy to just anyone? And are there Alchemists out there who want to start trouble?”

“No. Most humans don’t have this ability, and you really don’t want to advertise it.” She snorted bitterly. 

“Why not?” He leaned closer.

“Asgard hates Alchemists. Odin’s daddy, Bor, announced that all Alchemy is unnatural, and therefore illegal. They wiped out 90% of my people even before the Middle Ages were over.” Darcy clenched her hands tight and screwed her eyes shut. “Slaughtered men and women and children…killed them like animals.” A tear slid down her cheek. “My own great grandmother died at their hands. She was titled the Last Alchemist. She convinced the Asgardian dog that she was the last one. He believed her. I’m of a dying race.” Her lips curled bitterly. She opened her eyes. "You don't want me to train your agents if you don't want a fight with Asgard.”

Fury frowned and leaned back into his chair. “I see…very well, Ms. Lewis. I won’t need you to train any of my agents; however, I’m still very interested in how Alchemy works.” He tilted his head at her.

Looking him up and down, Darcy raised an intrigued eyebrow. “You wanna learn how to be an Alchemist?”

“If I can be one, then you willing to teach me?” He leaned forward.

Darcy smirked. “Sure I am. For a price.”

“And what’s that?” He stared at her. She grinned at him slyly.

“Take me on a date, Big Guy. One date per lesson.” She winked at him.

Nick Fury stared at her and then swallowed. The things he did for SHIELD. Though…this wasn’t much of a sacrifice on his part. “It’s a deal.”


	6. Pool Stick (Nick/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some married life shenanigans. ; )

Fury handed his wife a pool stick with a grin. “Now, this is how you hold it.” He slipped his arms around her waist and placed his hands on hers. He could hear her heartbeat elevate.

Fitting himself against her form, he whispered the rules of the game against her neck. She was breathing rather heavily. “Now, take a poke at the cue ball.”

Chuckling breathlessly, Darcy spoke up for the first time since he started teaching her pool. “I’d rather you take a poke at me, Honey. I wouldn’t mind your pool stick _at_ _all_ …” She kissed his jaw lightly.

He chuckled and then put her stick on the table before pulling her upstairs to their shared apartment at the Avengers Tower. They’d finish the game later.

Nick stared at his naked wife and grinned.  _ Much later. _


	7. Books (post-Avengers; Darcy/Nick)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick makes an unsettling discovery.

Fury had no idea how he’d gotten Tony fucking Stark as a father-in-law, but it had happened. He had been engaged to Darcy for a month when he realized that his records on both parties were greatly lacking. For example, NO ONE EVEN KNEW THEY WERE FATHER AND DAUGHTER!

“Hey, Fury.”

The director looked up and then frowned at the sight of Tony Stark in his office, holding a large box. Stark lifted it slightly and shrugged. “Wedding present. Thought you might like it early.”

Standing up, Nick nodded and took the box. It was a regular looking packing and shipping box. He set the box on his desk and lifted the lid.  It was filled with books. Actually, they were more like journals. Tony’s handwriting. Nick picked one up and opened it. He blinked in shock.

“Jarvis found out about the Sandbox and the Fridge. I did some digging and realized you guys didn’t know half the stuff you were squirreling away. So…” He shrugged. “I experimented and researched for you. That’s all the stuff I could find and was willing to share. The stuff that I didn’t think was safe for  _ anyone _ to know I just sketched, titled, and starred. Lock that shit deep down. It ain’t safe, Fury.” With that, Tony just turned and left the man’s office.

Fury spent the rest of the day reading Tony’s journals and becoming increasingly stunned at the man’s brilliance.  _ How in the world could I still underestimate him?! _ Fury remembered that Stark once said that Darcy was just as smart as he was.  _ Well shit. _


	8. Thermostat (Darcy/Fury)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spies will be spies. Nick is no different in his sneaky ways. ; D

“Honey…”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Nick!”

“No.”

Growling, Darcy twisted around in their bed. “Then don’t hog the sheets!” She snatched the blankets and wrapped herself in a blanket burrito. “Either turn up the thermostat, or break out more blankets, Mr. Pirate Pig.” She huffed.

“I like it cold!” He grumped.

“Well, I don’t!” She quickly fell asleep.

Head popping up silently, Nick gauged how deeply asleep his wife was. Grinning, Nick slipped off the bed, grabbed his phone, and snapped a picture of his incredibly adorable wife wrapped up like a burrito with her fists tucked under her chin.

For some reason, Darcy hated her picture being taken. She could take photos of others just fine, but she couldn’t stand being in one. He had spent days trying to sneak pictures of her, but she had proven to be a master at evasion. Until now.

He turned his phone back off and turned up the thermostat.

_ Mission accomplished. _ He slipped back into bed and fell asleep with a smile on his face.


	9. Sailboat (Nick/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A romantic setting on the sea is the perfect way to do it.

Darcy laughed as spray hit her across the face. Nick allowed his face to relax into a smile as he stared at his girlfriend of one year. She was loving his family’s sloop.

Climbing her way over to him, she waved and pulled out her waterproof camera and snapped his picture. He grinned at her as she finally made it to his side.

“Oh Nick! It’s wonderful! I love this!” She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arm around his. They raced with the wind for a while longer, and then he slowed it down and lowered sails and lowered the anchor. Darcy jumped around the ship helping where she could.

When they finished, she and Nick curled up together on one of the seat cushions and stared at the stars. She sighed. “I love you. You know that right?”

He chuckled and snagged her lips in a kiss. “Yes, I do.” He pulled her closer to him and rested his cheek on top of her head. “And I love you too.”

She hummed quietly. “…oh won’t you come with me, where the moon is made of gold, and in the morning sun, we’ll be sailing! Oh won’t you come with me, where the ocean meets the sky, and as the clouds roll by, we’ll sing the song of the sea!”

Nick canted his head slightly. “Where’d you hear that song?”

She laughed and snuggled closer. “It’s from the movie called  _ The Song of the Sea. _ It’s an animated movie. I saw it and fell in love.”

“Sounds nice.” They stared at the sky. Darcy lifted her hand slowly and placed her thumb and forefinger around the moon to make it look like she was holding it. She laughed quietly.

“Think there are other races and worlds out there?”

“I wouldn’t be surprised. We’ve found a lot of stuff that isn’t from Earth.”

“Scary.”

He kissed her temple lightly. “I’ve got you, Honey. I’ll keep you safe.” Moving away slightly, Nick swallowed. “In fact…” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a ring box. “Could I keep you safe for life?”

Darcy blinked the surprised and happy tears away and squealed. “YES!”

Swallowing tightly, Nick slipped the ring onto her finger with a smile and kissed her lips softly.


	10. Nail Clippers (post-Dark World; Darcy/Nick)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy will do anything to get her man. ; D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I'm back!   
> Sorry for being gone for a bit!  
> Ink...

Fury sighed and wondered again why he was the one who had to do this. Hill hid a smile behind him and kept her face serene when he shot a suspicious glance towards her.

“…and then these demented Elves start pouring out of that freaky ass black mother ship!” Darcy Lewis shifted her position on the couch and started clipping her fingernails on her other hand. She hadn’t given them a single glance. “Thor starts swinging Mew Mew, and Jane starts with all the science shit and guess what? The worlds were saved by one god, two interns, and two scientists! Wanna know why?” This time she looked at them. “BECAUSE FUCKING SHIELD WASN’T THERE!” She had slammed her hands on the coffee table so hard the wood chipped under the nail clippers. Nick barely blinked.

Huffing, she sat back down. “Maybe, it’s just a thought, but if someone, WHO’S FRIENDS WITH THOR, tries to call you, just maybe you should pick up next time?!?!”

Hill cleared her throat. “We have already apologized for that Ms. Le-”

“Darce, I’m sorry you got put in danger.” Nick had decided to bite the bullet. He saw Hill’s mask crack wide open at the nickname.

His fiancé huffed and glowered at him. “You’re forgiven.”

“But why in the name of all that’s holy did you kiss that fuck?!” Nick leaned forward.

Grinning darkly, Darcy leaned over the table to meet him halfway. “Because it would bring you to me. Love may keep me safe, but jealousy will always bring my fiancé from the corners of the world, meetings be damned.” He grumbled quietly. She winked at a shell shocked Hill before glancing down once again at her hands to inspect her work. “What was that, Dear?”

“You’re getting too good at manipulation.”

“I wouldn’t say that. Too good isn’t even a logical phrase. Too talented, possibly, but not too good.” She winked at him. He gritted his teeth.

“Don’t make out with your bodyguards ever again!”

“Or what?”

He smirked. “Or I’ll marry you.”

“Threats don’t work if the outcome is desired…” She winked. Nick shot up straight and then outright grinned.

“Honestly?”

Darcy laughed and curled into his lap. “Honestly.”

Hill had vanished some time ago and increased the future Mrs. Darcy Fury’s security to a level ten.


	11. Chair (post-Winter Soldier; Nick/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy drops by during an Avenger meeting with SHIELD. Chaos ensues.

Fury froze in mid-step so suddenly that the Avengers were hard pressed not to crash into him.

“Um…” Clint stared at the baby girl in Fury’s chair. They had just entered the meeting room. “Why is there a baby in the meeting room?”

Tony blinked and looked up from his phone. “I think the better question is why is there a grandkid in SHIELD. Fury? Got an answer for me? Why is Lila unattended?”

“Um…sorry, what?” Steve stared at Natasha, but the spy was just as stunned.

“Tony, how do you know she’s a grandkid?”

“Because she’s my grandkid. Lila!”

“Gwandpwapwa!” She hopped off her seat and rushed over to her grandfather. Tony laughed and hoisted her into the air. She grinned at him and pulled on his goatee.

“Where’s your mam, Honey?” Nick spoke softly to his daughter. Still in Tony’s arms, Lila leaned over carelessly and noisily kissed her daddy’s face and then pointed over to the coffee room that Tony had insisted be installed just in case emergency meetings ran over. He wanted caffeine. Fury had, surprisingly, allowed it to happen without much fight.

Clint stared at the two men suspiciously. “Wait a second…Fury’s been meeting Tony’s demands a lot more lately…”

“And this is Tony’s granddaughter…” Bruce murmured.

“And she greeted Fury like he’s her dad.” Natasha rolled her eyes. “Tony is Fury’s father-in-law!”

“WHAT?!” Steve gaped in shock.

They heard laughter from the coffee corner. Darcy walked into the room holding a platter of cookies and coffee. She passed them along to the Avengers. Wincing at her husband’s put out expression, she bit her lip. “Sorry for letting it spill, Honey, but I’m tired of keeping it a secret from the team.”

They heard squealing, and everyone turned as one and stared at Tony Stark, Tony fucking Stark, doing the airplane for his granddaughter. “Want a cookie, Princess?”

Fury groaned. “She’s already had-” He watched as his daughter got spoiled by her grandpapa. “Stark!”

“No shouting at the family members, Honey. It’s a rule.” Darcy said quietly. Nick groaned again.

“Darcy, he’s giving our daughter diabetes!”

Tony snorted. “Well, I have to give her sweets! You keep vetoing all my other gifts! Honestly! I still don’t know why Lila can’t have a pirate ship! She takes after her daddy!” He grinned sadistically.

The Avengers watched in a daze as they were forced to witness the Stark-Fury inter-family dynamics. Clint finally couldn’t help it. He started laughing and demanding to be named Uncle Clint. Tony’s approval drowned out Nick’s request that his daughter  _ not _ be made a mascot for the Avengers. Darcy just smirked a Stark Smirk and enjoyed the chaos.


	12. Video Games (pre-Darcy/Nick)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy makes a bet with a pirate. Tony is wary. Nick is smug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating on a Saturday instead of a Wednesday because I'm the embodiment of procrastination.   
> *cries inside*  
> Ink...

Nick Fury stared at his former agent, Clint Barton and sighed. The man was completely oblivious to the world when he was sitting in front of what Nick’s grandmother would have called ‘the idiot box’, aka, the TV screen.  Barton was playing against a woman Nick hadn’t met before. He looked her over and realized that she was the assistant to Dr. Jane Foster. Miss Darcy Hannah Lewis. Age: 30. Lab Director of the Avengers R&D, and liaison between the Avengers, the media, and SHIELD.  Nick had to admit that even though he was getting along in years, he could still appreciate the figure of a young woman. And what a figure! He cleared his throat again, hoping that he wouldn’t have to shout at Barton to shut that damned video game off.

“YEEE-AHHHH!”

Nick’s eye snapped up, and he watched the woman do a victory dance. “I owned your ass, Clint!”

“AWW! Yoshi no!!” He glared at Darcy. “You cheated! No one’s been able to defeat moi!”

Darcy threw her head back and laughed. “Get over yourself, Featherbrain, I beat you fair and square!” She spied Nick and pointed at him. “Just ask him! He saw us!”

Once he realized that his boss was there staring at him, unimpressed, Clint paled and jumped up. “Director! I…Sorry. Didn’t see you there. Is there anything I can do for you, Sir?”

“Yes, you can turn that damn thing off. The music, if you can call it that, is getting on my last nerve.”

“Last nerve, Sir?” Clint quickly turned off the TV screen.

“Stark made sure the others vanished in quick succession.” The girl was quiet until she wasn’t. Which, Nick suspected, happened a lot.

She stepped closer. “Huh! I never knew pirates could be spies!” She grinned brightly. He gave her a dry look.

“And I never knew children were allowed in the tower.” Clint winced in the background.

Stepping even closer, Darcy gave him a dark look. “Them are fightin words, Fury. Wanna battle it out via the box?”

He glanced at where she was pointing. Raising an eyebrow, he stared back at her. “I have more important things to do, Lewis.”

“You know my name?”

“I’ve read your file.”

She smirked slowly and cocked a hip. “Why would a big, bad, spymaster like you read a file of a little, nobody like me?”

He refused to be cornered by her. “Because that little nobody so happens to be friends with Thor and Dr. Jane Foster.” If he looked at her photo a little longer than necessary, then that was nobody’s business but his own.

“Importance by association? That’s all?” She gave him a pretty pout. “So, I’m still a little nobody to you?”

“Well...” He drawled, giving her a thorough look. His eyes lingered on her breasts. “Not little, but you’re also not famous.” He looked back up at her face. In the background, Clint was gaping. He had never,  _ never _ , seen his boss flirt with anyone. Not even for a mission- that he knew of.

Huffing, Darcy pointed to the box. “Then how come you won’t play with me? Scare you’ll be beaten by a nobody? I bet you can’t beat me!”

Looking at her keenly, Nick spoke quietly. “Bet? What’s the wager?”

She shrugged. “You’re choice, as long as it’s not illegal, not inhumane, not sexual, not permanent, and I have veto power based on the morality of it.” After a moment to think, Nick gave a quick nod, and sat down on the couch. After Darcy went over the rules and then the way to use a controller, they began.

He beat her the first time.

And the second.

And the third.

And the fourth.

By the time the tenth round finished- Nick’s win-, all the Avengers had been assembled by Clint to witness their director playing- and enjoying!- a video game. 

Natasha had to sit down.

Darcy groaned and threw herself back against the couch. “Fine! What’s the payment?!”

A slow smile slipped over Nick’s face. He looked her up and down and then spoke calmly. “I need to have an escort for a series of meetings in Berlin, Germany. Hill isn’t available, and Natasha isn’t willing. You’ll come with me instead.”  Natasha frowned but didn’t speak. After hemming and hawing, Darcy finally accepted, once it became known that Fury would foot the bill for everything.

After they left the room, to further discuss the plans, Natasha spoke up. “He didn’t even ask me. Why did he lie?”

Snickering, Clint looked at her with a sly smile. “You didn’t see him checking her out, and they were  _ totally _ flirting earlier.”

Steve gaped. “WHAT?!”

Frowning, Tony hummed in thought. “I’ll have to talk to him later, if things get serious.”

Bruce looked confused. “Why would you talk to Fury?”

“It’s my job as her big brother to make sure she’s safe and isn’t being played by boys.” Tony glowered. “Especially bad boys.” He shrugged. “Even though she’s eleven years younger than me, I still take my job very seriously.” He rubbed his goatee and turned to leave for his workshop, completely aware of how he had shaken everyone’s sanity.

Natasha was stunned. Everyone was.

“SHE’S YOUR  _ SISTER _ ?!” 

Jarvis made sure to record the faces of the shocked Avengers. Such a moment of Natasha being taken by surprise was to be treasured as rare and therefore excellent blackmail material. For Sir’s use of course. Not his own.


	13. Glow Sticks (post-Winter Soldier, Darcy/Nick)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy finally has her husband all to herself.

Darcy watched her husband step out of the bathroom. “So, let me get this straight, while you’re sitting on your ass enjoying a long overdue vacation that’s only come your way because you’re  _ dead _ , the Avengers are out there looking for that Glow Stick of Destiny?”

He chuckled and threw his towel onto his side of the bed. “Yep.”

Darcy grinned and she looked him up and down, licking her lips. “And Hill’s not around anymore to call you in for emergencies? Coulson’s busy with SHIELD 2.0…”

“Right on both counts.” He walked over to the closet to grab his pajamas.

Jumping out of bed, Darcy pulled off her clothes and yanked him into bed, straddling him. “Then that means no one can disturb us while we  _ finally _ enjoy us some hot sex!”

He laughed and rolled them over and got to work.


	14. Shawl (Old AU: Nick/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another Tuesday, yanno? No matter how much time goes by, some things never change.

Darcy sighed and rubbed her wrists. She hated arthritis.  _ Too much typing. _ She was nearing sixty while Nick was nearing his eighties. She smiled and looked at her husband. He was shifting his cane from one hand to the other, glowering at the chattering woman in front of them. The bank teller glanced passed the woman and gave them an apologetic smile.

Suddenly, the doors banged open. “Everyone get down! We will shoot you! Don’t move, lady!” The teller’s eyes widened as two gunmen shot and killed the security officer in the bank who reached for the emergency button.

Darcy’s hand slid slowly into her big purse. Her fingers curled around her trusty taser. It was rechargeable and had rapid shot. She loved it. She glanced over at her husband and grinned as his eyes brightened and his hand tightened on his cane. Her husband refused to admit it, but he missed fieldwork still. He also refused to admit that he was getting old.

Jumping up, Nick pressed a button on his cane and it extended the body of it into a shield. The tips opened to allow a blade to slide out from both ends. He made quick work of the men. Darcy covered his back by tasing the leader and two other men. It took only a few minutes before the robbers were dealt with. Nick fixed his cane and leaned on it in a very good impression of Yoda. Walking over to his wife, he fixed her shawl around her shoulders and kissed her softly.

“You okay?”

She grinned at him happily. “Perfectly okay.” The rest of the people continued to stare in shock at the elderly couple who had just saved their asses.


	15. Credit Card (mid-Ultron: Nick/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor has a very important question for Nick Fury.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive!  
> Ink...

Fury sighed and looked up when Mrs. Barton entered the barn. Tony smiled at her hollowly. “All fixed. The pipelines were clogged.”

She gave him a happy smile. “Thank you!” Glancing at Fury, she bit her lip. “Could you um…I’m sorry Mr. Fury, but Thor got it into his head to help me with the shopping…I can’t let him go alone…” The woman still looked a bit unnerved with so many…superheroes walking around and offering to do menial things.

Fury valiantly hid his smile. “I’ll go with him.”

Giving him a relieved look, Laura sighed. “Thank you.” Nodding to both men, she left the barn.

“Whelp. Better go collect the god of Thunder.” Fury nodded to Tony. “It’ll work out, Stark. Always does. And don’t think about what you saw. If it’s one thing I’ve learned from the past, it’s that nothing in the future ever happens the way we think it will.” He sighed and left the barn.

After getting Thor into the truck, they drove to the nearest town and entered the only small store. Thor looked at the list and happily told Fury everything on it. He was stunned that this was how they went to the market.

“Mother used to take me and…and Loki to the markets with her maidens on the first of every month. It was a joyous occasion, filled with laughter. The markets didn’t just sell food stuffs and drink. The merchants traveled from all over the realms and brought trinkets, curios, books, scrolls, talismans, clothes, exotic animals, and accessories such as jewelry and weapons. The marketplace was always filled with bright colors and various delicious smells…” Thor smiled faintly. “I wish that my past self had enjoyed the present more, instead of yearning for battle and the years of maturity.” He shook his head with a sigh.

Fury picked up two cartons of eggs and put them in the cart. He didn’t know what to say. What Thor described sounded too good to exist. “I think it use to be like that, back in the Old World. During the Renaissance. Market days and such…” Fury sighed and looked around. “Now everything is boxed. Cleaner and more sanitary, but the experience is vastly different.”

His phone chimed as they got in line. He had to make a call to Hill. After briefly showing Thor how to use his credit card, he handed it over to the eager demigod and then walked a ways off to make his call.

“Friend Fury, there was a name on the plastic square. Does that show who it belongs to?”

“Yes.” Fury reached for it, but Thor moved it out of his reach.

“Tell me,  _ Friend _ ,” his eyes held a warning. “Why do you have Lady Darcy’s card?”

Fury snatched it back and stared at it. “Shit!” He looked up at Thor’s suspicious and  _ darkening  _ stare. “…shit _. _ ”


	16. iPod (post-Avengers, mentioned-Nick/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coulson is not as innocent as people seem to think. Darcy is both unamused and smug.  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> aka: the real story behind Darcy's iPod.

Darcy smirked as she watched her long time best friend, Skye, discuss something intently with a young, tall man. “Hey guys! I’m Darcy Lewis! I’m assuming that this is Agent Ward, Agent May, Agent Fitz, and Agent Simmons?” Skye squealed and hugged her.

“What are you doing here?! And yeah, these are them.”

Waving her hand, Darcy nodded to them and looked around. “I finished my paperwork, got no meetings tying me down, so I decided to visit you. Nice digs.”

“Come on, my room’s over here.”

“Just a second. Do you have clearance for this?” Ward stepped closer. May was mirroring him. Darcy just threw her head back and laughed.

“You’re cute.” She patted him on the chest and walked away towards Coulson’s office. Skye smiled at him nervously.

“Yeah, she does. She’s considered to be Thor’s legal sister, which makes her an Asgardian legally, giving her dual citizenship. Also, Odin allowed Thor to grant her the position of Ambassador of Earth and Emissary between Asgard and Midgard, and that gives her clearance to the very top.” Skye shrugged. Ward was gaping at where Darcy had vanished off to.

They were still standing in shock when Coulson boarded the bus. “Why is everyone standing around like this?” He raised an eyebrow.

Simmons answered promptly. “The Emissary of Midgard is on board. Apparently, she wanted to visit Skye.”

Coulson paled. “Darcy’s here?!” He looked quickly over to his office and saw the door ajar. “Shit!” Dashing out of the room, he rushed towards his office. He hurried in and closed the door behind him only to freeze. “Darcy…”

She was grinning at him darkly. “What did the reports say? 'Unfortunately lost'? 'Accidentally got destroyed'?” Darcy tossed her iPod into the air and caught it. “It was souped up by Stark himself, signed on the back by all the Avengers before they  _ became  _ the Avengers, and given to me by my husband.” 

She had gotten the signatures of Clint, Natasha, Thor, Tony, Steve, and even Bruce, approaching them quietly and unobtrusively to prep them for her husband’s offer later on.  The iPod showed that she had rightfully won the running bet of who would become the Avengers. She had voted those six into play. Coulson and Hill and Fury had all voted some of them, but none thought Tony or Bruce would agree. Darcy had won the pool, but she hadn’t been able to collect since Coulson swiped her iPod, her only piece of hard evidence. Shifty agents and loopholes. The pool had been left standing until she could gain proof.

Getting up, she lazily walked over to him. “Did you really think that you’d get away with stealing it? Just cause you died and came back don’t mean I’m letting you keep my iPod, Agent.” She patted his cheek lightly and blew him a kiss as she left the office.

Coulson sighed and raked his hand through his hair. “So close.” He groaned quietly. That pool had been so close to becoming his by default after the year was up!


	17. Thermostat pt2 (pre-Winter Soldier; Nick/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick makes a mistake.

Nick chuckled softly as he looked at the picture he snapped of his wife. Alex glanced at him. “That’s the fifth time you’ve smiled at your phone. What’s happening?”

“You know how my wife doesn’t like meeting anyone in SHIELD or having her picture taken?” Nick grinned at his friend. 

“Yeah. You’ve only complained about it to me a couple a million times. What’s up?” He wiped his mouth with a napkin and raised a hand for the server to bring the tab. He froze partway when Nick showed him the picture. It was dark and her face was slightly obscured, but he knew her anywhere. It was her. He knew that profile anywhere. 

“Darcy in a blanket burrito. She’d kill me if she found out I said this, but she’s adorable.” Nick laughed.

“How…long ago did you two elope, Nick?”

Looking up, Nick frowned and thought about it. “We got married back in…2011, right after Thor dropped from the sky and leveled that New Mexico town.”

“Right. I remember now. You vanished for two months and then showed up and refused to explain.” Alex studied the man. “Why’d Darcy force you to keep it a secret?”

“She has a tricky past.” Nick scowled. “That’s actually what attracted my attention to her. Her past is completely erased. Not a single face on file, no security cams, not even a photo ID with a face younger than twenty. After she turned twenty, she existed. Before that, she never existed.”

“And you married a mystery woman?”

Nick fiddled with his phone and then exhaled. “Said she was running from her family who did her wrong. Never explained anything else. Powerful family and long reach. I wouldn’t have let it go except…” Nick swallowed. “She saved my life. We both got on the wrong side of a group of mafiosos. She had seen where I hid the camera chip, but she didn’t crack.” Nick stared at Alex intently. “They tortured her, and she didn’t make a sound. Not a single whimper, Alex. She didn’t break, and she didn’t turn me over. She could’ve. She had every right to. I was going to take her in on suspicions from SHIELD, but she didn’t take the chance to turn me in and escape. I let her go, helped her hide in an out of the way hospital, and she turned around and asked me to celebrate her ‘coming out’ party the moment she was discharged. We went out for lunch.” Nick smiled faintly. “And went out again the next day, and the day after that…then we got married only seven months later.”

Alex listened to Nick reminisce about his wife and then, when he and his friend finally parted ways, called Rumlow. “Ready Strike. Zola’s grandkid has been found.”

_ “Sir?!” _

“Get the Asset. Only Darlene Zola knows where those Erskine files are.”

_ “Alerting them now, Sir.” _

“She’s Darcy Lewis now. Scratch her name and target from Insight’s list.” 

_ “Glad we found out now. Insight’s launching in three days.” _

Alex scowled. “And go with Rogers to the Lumerian Star. I want to know what’s going on there. Something’s not right.”

_ “Yes, Sir. What if she doesn’t crack on the files’ location?” _

“Then reintroduce her to the chair. She’s spent enough time in it.”

_ “Right.” _

“Something wrong?”

_ “Nothing, Sir. I just…can’t imagine any grandparent putting their own grandchild through that chair and turning them into an asset like the Soldier. It’s…” _

“It was Zola’s research on her that helped us condition the Asset better.” Alex exhaled. “I know. It’s hard to stomach. I remember watching her as a five year old in that chair. Zola didn’t even let her have a doll.”

_ “Hey Boss, I’m curious about one thing…” _

This discovery of Darlene Zola had put Alex in a good mood. “What?”

_ “She’s how old now? Cause of the cryofreezing…” _

“Fifty-seven years old. I was just a teenager when I first met her. Barely a teenager.” Alex scoffed softly. “I nearly fled that day, but…I didn’t. I’m glad I didn’t. Use the Asset, use all six Soldiers if you have to, but get Zola’s grandkid. With those files he made on Erskine just before he died, we can finally crack the supersoldier serum completely. No more knock offs with psychological backfires.”

_ “Yes sir!” _

Alex stared out the window and wondered once more just how she had convinced the Asset to help her escape in the first place. The Asset hadn’t explained, and had even tried to escape twice afterwards. They had been forced to wipe him pretty thoroughly after that. There was something about Darlene Zola…something very dangerous, and that had nothing to do with her own training and serum. She had a charism about her.

“Hell, she convinced Nick Fury to fall in love with her. She definitely has skill.” Alex laughed softly and poured himself some brandy.


	18. Furry Friends (Nick/Darcy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick and Darcy have a slight disagreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a practice in dialogue focused writing really. Hope you guys enjoy it! ; D  
> Ink...

“Darling.”

“Hmm? Yeah, Nick? What's with that look?”

“We have a problem.”

“What’s that?”

“They have to go.”

“WHAT?! NO!”

“Darcy, they  _ have _ to go! There is no room on the fucking bed anymore!”

“But I want them!”

“Darcy, do you love them more than me?”

“…no?”

“Get. Rid. Of. Them.”

“You’re being mean! I don’t have all that many!”

“There are twenty-seven scattered all over our bed! Our! Bed! That makes it partly mine! I have no room to sleep!”

“But-”

“Do I need to search for a stuffed animals anonymous therapy group for you?”

“FINE! I’ll…put them all on the couch. Meanie.”

“Darcy, I am not irrational for not wanting to share my bed with stupid stuffed animals!”

“They are not stupid stuffed animals! They are my furry friends, and they will stare at me all night with betrayal for being banished to the couch!”

“Darcy…we’ve talked about this. You personify  _ way _ too much.”

“No I don’t!”

“...”

“I don’t!”

“...”

“Fine, I kinda do.”

“Just get rid of them.”

“Come on, guys. The Dread Pirate has taken over the ship and is having you all walk the plank.”

“OH COME ON!”

“He’s plunging you into the freezing Sea of Rejection to be eaten alive by the Sharks of Stuffed Animal Depression.”

“Darcy!”

“Forcing you to suffer all night, abandoned and unloved, on the Couch Island of Isolation!”

“Ugh…fine! They can…stay on the bed.”

“Reeally?!”

“Yes.”

“Thank you so much! I love you! You’re so wonderful, Nick!”

“Yeah. Love you too, Darcy.”


End file.
